Finally got the courage to share this, no one really knew what I went through as I kept it to myself and dealt with my broken heart.
I was diagnosed with endometriosis when I was 23 years old and was give until I turned 28 to have kids. I was not mentally ready to be a mum but I knew I wanted kids someday and now the clock was running against me.
I remember trying for years and nothing would happen, 3 months after my 27th birthday I was pregnant FINALLY. I was overjoyed, I was going to be a someone’s mom my world was complete.
I’ve blocked out the dates as it has been too much to bare and my therapist said it was part of my coping mechanism. I’ve constantly asked myself what I did wrong. I just remember going to the bathroom at work and seeing a light pink trace of blood. I thought the worst and as I sat on the toilet the tears started to flow, I slowly composed myself and left work.
My doctor was out of office so I went to the nearest doctor’s office to my workplace. I remember the doctor saying there’s no heartbeat, my heart sank. The stomach cramps started from the moment, my baby was gone ?????? What did I do wrong ? 😔 why are you punishing me God ? Don’t you think I’m deserving to be someone’s mum ?
I cried for months silently, there was no one that could really relate 😔