I tried writing my story so many times here on this forum and just kept hitting backspace . I just cannot seem to identify my loss which now seems so small to one this huge. I remember the feeling I felt when I experienced a miscarriage ; I was numb. Just numb nothing else. I lost a child trying to grow inside of me yet still the pain is incomparable to the pain I felt the day I found out of Kenzie’s passing. So today I decided not to hit backspace anymore but to speak of the real loss. The loss that was gut wrenching, that I cannot begin to understand. If anyone had ever told me that the loss of someone else’s child would hurt as though it was my own I would’ve never believed them. I remember after my miscarriage mentally saying to myself “I should be crying” but on the flip side , when zie died I remember thinking “why can’t I stop crying”. As the days go by I keep wondering , if this is how I feel, I cannot begin to imagine what you guys are feeling. My heart aches for you, her parents and anyone else who remain forever impacted by this loss.